Christian Struggles

I’m sitting in church, tears rolling down my cheeks, supposedly having everything; loving husband, children, grandchildren, home, Jesus, saved and going to heaven – and my heart is beating in exhilaration, my chest hurts, my stomach feels like a pressure of gas pushing against the wall, and anxiety and nervousness running through my body. Oh please, do not let anyone see me.

I am o.k., really I am. Oh no…more tears. Oh, the pain in my chest and stomach is beginning to be too much for me to handle. I just want to get out of here. Let me go! All I want is to run – run so fast and so far that no one can find me. I cannot because of my husband and those around me. What will they think? They may try to stop me, but please, let me go. I am having one of those anxiety attacks and I hate it.

Why do I feel like I do? No, I will pretend everything is o.k. Wipe the tears away and stay, but I would rather remove myself because I feel terrible right now and I do not know why! Oh God, it hurts so bad – why God, why?

The above is the preface to my new book 'Oh God, It Hurts So Bad". My prayer is that those of you who have suffered or are suffering this very minute will find this book a blessing...Ms Anita